Am I Not Good Enough?
by yumekoSCD
Summary: Seiya X Mamoru X Usagi My version of eps 194 of Sailor Moon Sailor Star when Seiya ask Usagi the famous question, Am I Not Good Enough?
1. PROLOGUE

Am I not good enough?  
Notes: I added this prologue as I was editing the older version of Chapter Three. This would make more sense for those who were reading for the first time. 

Disclaimer: (c) Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi and Toei Douga own the Manga and Anime of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. I'm simply borrwing the characters for my fanfics...

Summary:It's my version of what happened that day on top the schoo building as Usagi crys for Mamoru.

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PROLOGUE 

Inside a convertible outside of the Tsukino household sat two person. The one sitting in the driver' side look like a man. The person had short sporty styled blond hair in a white shirt and green plaid pants, which happed to be the uniform for the high school the person went to. If you look closely at her figure, you could tell it was a woman. Sitting beside her in the passenger side was a woman in a matching outfit. However, she was in a skirt. She was more womanly than the one in the diver side. She had aqua green-blue hair that was a little curled and just pass her shoulder. Both had worried looks in their eyes. They looked at each other for a few moments, then both their eyes went back to the lit window with the pink curtains on the second floor.  
"Usagi's so sad." The one with aqua hair said. The other woman simply nodded in agreement. It was silent agan. So silent, you could only hear the wind blowing.

Sitting in the music studio where the Kou brothers lived and worked was a man with dark, almost black hair in a thin pony tail.

Usagi...Usagi...

Usagi...It was all that Kou Seiya could think about. He know he shoudle be thinking about his own princess, but somehow, his thoughts always goes back to Tsukino Usagi.

He loves Usagi. He understood that much. He loved her more than he loved himself. And even though he knows that she's in love with another, he's never give up on Usagi. The only other person he love more than himself is his princess.

Could Usagi is princess? Seiya remember that moment he had in the amusement park. He was sure than Usagi is his princess.

Seiya shook his head. No, Usagi couldn't be his princess. He could never be with his princess like THAT if she turned out Usagi. He knew there was a possibility. He remember the girls calling her princess. But if she was his princes, then why does she have the other girls as her protector?

A part of him hoped she was his princess, but then, another wished her not to.

Oh it was too confusing. Is this what love is like? Then maybe it's better he doesn't call in love. Though it's to late. He was already in love. His head hurts.

What was that saying "Love Hurt?"

How true, Seiya thought

Oh Usagi, if only you returned my love, perhaps then it won't hurt so much.

If only...

Sitting in her room. Usagi had just put down the phone. She called Mamoru's again, even knowing he wouldn't answer. He was in American after all.

She picked up the picture of her with Mamo-chan and Chibi-Usa.

She had the saddest look on her face...

Mamo-chan...Mamo-chan... Why won't you return my letters?

What are you doing? Why don't you call me back? How are you doing in Harvard?

Oh Mamo-chan, I miss you so very much, my love.

Oh Mamo-chan it hurts so much that you aren't here.

I can't breath.

I need you my love...I need you, Mamo-chan

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Until Next Chapter.  
Read and Review, Onegai! Arigatou for those who have R 


	2. Am I Not Good Enough

Am I not good enough

AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

Disclaimer: (c) Takeuchi Naoko, Koudansha, TV Asahi and Toei Douga own the Manga and Anime of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. I'm simply borrowing the characters for my fan fictions...

Summary: It's my version of what happened that day on top the school building as Usagi cries for Mamoru.

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Seiya went to his room. His princess had just fallen asleep. He couldn't believe it. So Usagi wasn't his princess. At least he know that much. He was glad. It means he can love her, so long as his princess would let him off his duties.

Seiya decided to give Usagi a call. He knows it was kind of late, but he wanted to hear her sweet voice. He misses it.

The phone kept on ringing, but no one was picking up. Eventually Seiya gave up and hang up. Usagi must have already gone to asleep, Seiya thought. He decided he might as well go to sleep. He could wake up early and go to Usagi's house in the morning to walk with her to school.

Someone was calling Usagi's name outside her house in a voice that made the person sounded like a grade school child …

Whoever it was, Usagi planed to kill that person. It was way too early to wake up yet. Isn't it? Usagi looked at the pink bunny shaped alarm clock on the nightstand beside her bed. OH NO. It was already pass the time she should wake up. She jumped up from her bed. She decided to go to the window and see the person that was still yelling her name. Even inside the house, without having to look outside, Usagi knew that particular voice. It was the voice of the one and only, Aino Minako.

Usagi open the window and Minako immediately shut up at Usagi's unhappy face.

Minako sweat dropped and waved nervously at Usagi. Makoto, who was standing beside Minako, was also sweat dropping. However, instead of waving her hand, she slapped her forehead.

Usagi closed the window without saying anything now that Minako was silent. The two girls waited outside the Tsukino's house for about 10 minutes until Usagi came out.

Usagi knows they just want to protect her. She was not only their Leader, their Princess, but also their friend. Usagi was touched that her friends wanted to protect her since the enemy was out for her Star Seed, but she was also pissed off by the fact they were treading her like a 5 years old.

Once they reached their homeroom, Ami, Minako, and Makoto gave Usagi some self defence items. It included things such as a gas mask, anti-criminal spray, etc. There was also a whistle. Since Usagi didn't know what the whistle was for, she decided to blow it.

Within a second, there was a thundering rumble across the city. In less than 10 seconds, or so it seemed, Rei came into Usagi's classroom. Usagi was staring at Rei, a bit confused. Everyone sweat dropped at the sight. Rei was about to get fumed, seeing there's no enemy around, but fainted instead.

Seiya went to Usagi's house early the next morning. He was hiding beside a bush, deciding if he should go in or not when he heard Minako and Makoto talking to each other. He decided he better stay behind the bush. Minako immediately started to call out Usagi's name in a grade school child voice. Seiya sweat dropped at that. Soon after, Usagi opened her window.

Seiya was so happy to see Usagi. She looked so beautiful, even if she had just woken up. Of course she would be beautiful. Usagi always is beautiful, no matter what time it was.

After Usagi closed the window, Seiya decided to go to school earlier, as it was obvious the two girls was going to walk with Usagi to school.

He was a bit saddened by the fact he couldn't walk Usagi to school. However, he was happy soon enough as the girls came into the classroom a while later. Ami, Usagi's friend, who was already in the class, went up to join the three immediately as they came in.

Seiya was amazed when Rei had ran into the classed room almost immediately after Usagi blew the whistle. Seiya had an idea that Rei had ran over from her own high school. He didn't question how Rei was able to get from her school to here in such a short time. Perhaps it had something to do with her being Sailor Mars.

Ami, with the girls was following Usagi all day, wherever Usagi went, they followed. They were acting as Usagi's bodyguard. Ami could tell it was began to annoy Usagi that they were following her everywhere.

Finally Usagi couldn't take anymore and asked, "Am I incompetent?", after they followed her to the washroom.

Ami was so shocked that she didn't know what to say.

Quickly Minako said, "No of course not Usagi. It's just that we don't want anything to happed to you while Mamoru-kun's m...gone." Ami could tell Minako almost said missing instead of gone, but realize her mistake.

At the mention of Mamoru, Usagi became very sad. Usagi said, "I... I want to alone for a bit." With that she ran away. The three decided to let her go and went to Crown, where Rei was waiting for them.

Rei said it was too dangerous for Usagi to be alone. The girls ran back to the school, hoping she was there, hoping that nothing bad has happened to Usagi while she was alone.

Usagi walked around school and without realizing, walked to the roof of the school building.

Mamo-chan, why haven't you contacted me since you went away, Usagi wondered. I miss you so much. I'm so sad without you around.

Seiya was in the classroom gathering in his stuff as he is ready to leave the school for the last time. Since they had found their princess, Seiya's job is now to protect his princess and therefore needs to leave the school. While cleaning his stuff from his desk, Seiya thought of the time he has spend with Usagi.

Rei and the girls can't find Usagi anywhere and asked if Seiya had seen her. Seiya replied no.

"I'm so lonely without you. I'm so lonely, Mamo-chan" Usagi whispered to herself

When the sky darkened out of no where, Usagi knew something wasn't right. Nyanko appear out of no where in a high school uniform. Immediately, she turned into Tin Nyanko. Usagi was so shocked to see the enemy who was obvious out to get her star seed. Usagi was pissed at the same time a little scared and wished the other girls were there. But mostly, she wished her Mamo-chan was there.

Nyanko started to attack Usagi, who was still in her school uniform. Without a thought, Usagi transformed into super Sailor Moon.

Nyanko was wining the battle when out of no where a red rose came down.

Mamo-chan, Sailor Moon thought. But she was wrong; the person who throws the red rose was not Mamoru.

It was Kou Seiya, holding a black and red cape, who immediately turned into Sailor Star Fighter.

Sailor Moon was shocked that the rose was not thrown by Mamoru, which mean he is still not around. This realization was such a hard hit that Sailor Moon's attention was no longer on the enemy that is still there.

Seeing Sailor Moon is not making any attempt to get rid of Nyanko, Sailor Star Figher throw her star serious laser attack at Nyanko, then called out to Sailor Moon for her to attack.

When she realizing that the enemy is still here, Sailor Moon followed to attack Nyanko with her honeymoon kisses. The attacked only affect half of Nyanko, who now is half black and half white. When she could escape, Nyanko got into her phone booth and disappeared.

Sailor Moon powered down to Usagi again. Now On the roof of the school is only Usagi and Seiya, with the rain pouring onto them.

Usagi look up at Sailor Star Fighter, who was still standing on the roof, then down at the red rose on the floor. Usagi starts to shake. The rain pour down onto the ground. To Usagi it's as if nothing had changed. She was in her own thought.

"When I think about it... I'm not good at enduring things" Usagi said in a calm voice. You can tell though her voice is calm, she's not calm at all. There were tears forming in her eyes.

Her body starts to shake a little. Not shaking from the cold rain pouring onto her body, but cold from within.

Seiya now de-transformed from being Sailor Star Fighter standing in front of a de-transformed Usagi murmured in confusion as to what Usagi was talked about, "huh?"

Usagi started to talk again after Seiya's comment. "For example, even if I decide to work on my homework today...I easily lose myself and start eating snacks until I'm full and sleepy..."

While Usagi continued on Seiya had a worried and a confused look on his face. Usagi's arm in front of herself, fist tight. At first it looked like her fists were shaking but if you looked closer, you'd realize it was her whole body shaking. Usagi went on talking, as if Seiya wasn't there. Yet it was obvious Usagi was talking to Seiya, wasn't she?

"...Actually, I often sleep after that..." Seiya's look was awed now as well as shock and worry. Seiya's really confused as to what Usagi's talking about now. It made no sense; she simply went on and on...

"...I thought I had a strong will to go on... but when I saw the rose." Usagi scream the last part in angst. Her eyes closed tight. The look on her face was anger, no it was something else. It was some mix of misery and hurt perhaps. Seiya couldn't tell. He was getting more confused by the moment.

"...I remembered him." Usagi screamed "Even though I can't hear his voice except on the answering machine...and I haven't received any letters, I thought I was okay"

Seiya still had a shocked and worried look on his face, but also another emotion that showed was understanding and anger, along with a bit of jealousy. It was obvious Usagi was and is talking about her boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. That's the only other HIM, other than Seiya. Seiya was getting pissed as Usagi went on. The nerve of the guy, not replying to Usagi's letters.

"...I could survive just by myself...but..." Usagi went on as she fell to her knees. "...but...I just can't stand being by myself."

"Odango." Seiya whispered as he watched Usagi fell to her knees.

"I want to see you... I want to see you, Mamo-chan." Usagi went on crying.

Seiya's expression changed from worry to anger completely now. The bastard, did he know what a great treasure he have in Usagi? Usagi deserved better than this, much better. Seiya went on his knees in front of Usagi. His arms on Usagi's shoulders. Usagi looked up with confusion and surprise.

What Seiya said in the next moment would change things forever.

"Am I not good enough?" Seiya asked in a clear voice, stating he was better.

Usagi was shocked; she blinked her eyes when hearing the question.

Seiya leaned closer and asked again, "Am I not good enough."

Usagi was still shocked by the question. Oh how do I answer him?

On the side watching by the door leading to the rooftop are four girls, all had shock and worry on their faces. Three of the girls are wearing the same school uniform as Usagi. The other one, standing slightly in front of all other three, wearing a completely different uniform, in purple hair had the most worried face on her. The four girls didn't dare to interrupt the conversation. The girls were shocked to hear Mamoru had not replied to any of Usagi's letters. All had the same question in their head, why, but not one dared to ask.

After Seiya asked the question, there was a long silent pause.

Out of no where Usagi began to answer the question.

"There's shouldn't have to be a question as to are you good enough." Usagi said. Usagi put her right hand around Seiya's face, "You are good enough for any girl Seiya. You are nice, funny, friendly and in some way really sexy." Seiya blushed at the last comment.

He desperately wanted to say something but kept silent.

"If the situation was different. If I wasn't who I am. Truthfully, you are good enough; perhaps in some ways, you might even be better." Usagi went on, "However, it doesn't matter. No matter how perfect or imperfect Mamo-chan is in other's eyes, he's the only one for me. He's my other half. Without Mamo-chan, I feel lost. I can't breathe properly when he's not here. He to me is like water to a fish. Only when we are together are we one.

"My heart hurts so much. I'm confused and angry as to why he hasn't replied to my letters or why he hasn't called me. I really am. At the same time, I'm worried." Usagi went on; her hands are in front of herself again. "I'm worried something bad had happened to him."

Again, there was silence.

"Odango." Seiya began to say but the next moved shocked everything, including Seiya, who'd never expected this.

Usagi kissed Seiya. Not just a peck, but a real kiss between a woman and a man ( kind of). It was a short kiss, it only lasted but a second, but Seiya knows this would be the one and only kiss from Usagi to him. It was the ultimate answer to his question. It was, more or less, an acknowledgement to Seiya that he was good enough for Usagi. In his heart, Seiya knows he's good enough. Like Usagi had said, if the situation were to be different, he's probably the better one. Seiya was sure if the situation was different Usagi would have chose him instead. However, the situation is what it is. It can simply say they were not fated to be together. Truth of the matter is, Seiya was extremely jealous of Mamoru. Seiya would forever treasure this moment he had with Usagi.

As soon as the kiss was over, Usagi picked herself up and ran away from Seiya. The girls walked Usagi home without a comment. It was Rei who stayed behind after the other girls left. It was Rei who stayed and hold Usagi while she cried her heart out for Chiba Mamoru.

The End

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AN: So for those who have reviewed previously, as you noticed, I combined the latest chapter along with the old ones all into one. I figured One-shot was better than all separate. Somehow the interlude didn't fit in as I redid the story. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I spend time writing it. I always meant to finish this fic first. Episode 194 is one of my favorite episodes in the Stars Series. I think this was the best ending to this particular fic. I don't think it as Usagi cheating on Mamoru but more or less acknowledgement to Seiya that he was good enough.

You know you love me

XOXO

SCD


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